Why Are Obituaries Important?
Originally intended as the public notice of an individual’s passing, the obituary has evolved into a multifaceted method of storytelling all its own. An obituary can be an expression of mourning, a chance to highlight and celebrate a loved one’s life, a historical document for future generations, an invitation to any funeral or memorial ceremonies, or any and all at once.
Obituaries are often published in local newspapers. In our community, however, it’s just as common for families to publish online obituaries and share them through social media platforms, passing death notices from person to person on a more intimate scale. It's also common for the obituary to be read at the homegoing ceremony as a way to honor the deceased, or for the obituary to be included among song lyrics and religious verses on the funeral program.
The utility of an obituary carries over to the writing as well: it can be brief and poignant or heartfelt and detailed, written by a family member or created by the funeral home in collaboration with the family. Writing an obituary can even be a step forward in one’s own healing. By reflecting on good memories of the departed and sharing their story, you may help yourself begin processing your grief over their passing.
How to Write an Obituary
Traditional obituaries follow a four-part structure: the death announcement, a short biography, a section about the family, and information on when and where the funeral or memorial service will be held.
An obituary should start with the person’s name, birthplace, age, and date of death. Including the cause of death is optional, and whether to share that information and in how much detail is a personal choice. Phrases such as “after a long illness,” “suddenly at home,” or “tragically” can express the circumstances without the need for specifics. If you would rather not broach that topic at all, it’s fine to focus on your loved one’s life and history rather than the facts of their death.
The largest part of an obituary will be the biographical section. Here, you can share their story and highlight the impact the deceased had on friends and family members, and the community at large. This section can reflect their personality and the things that mattered to them, from career and personal achievements to the importance of their faith and church involvement, to passions, hobbies, pets, and whatever else feels important to memorialize about them.
The family section should include the names of spouses, children, and grandchildren, and then the names of parents or siblings who are surviving the deceased. It is customary to include any close family members who may have preceded them in death, too.
Finally, be sure to include the details of where and when the homegoing ceremony will take place, as well as where to send flowers or donations.
Obituaries as a Celebration of Life
We don’t all have biographies written about us for the history books, but every individual touches countless lives. An obituary is a chance to document that connection and tell your loved one’s story, remembering them for the world.
If you're unsure where to begin, imagine what your loved one would write about themself. What stories would they want to share, and how would they want to be remembered? How can you bring a measure of solace and joy to the ones reading? What do you wish the world could know about the type of person they were?
Another tip is to write in the present tense and change it to the past tense after, as if you are describing the departed to a friend over coffee. Let yourself go, remember, and see what you can come up with. Jot down ideas, and half-remembered stories, and fill out the details later.
And, of course, you shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to friends and relatives for help, too. You may find that talking about the loss together helps to ease the weight of grief as you remember, write, and share their story.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
You’re not alone in your grief. Family and friends will welcome the opportunity to come together in assistance, and our team at Pipkin Braswell can help, too.
At our first visit with the family, we’ll ask questions to get to know your loved one so we can create a fully personalized funeral experience that reflects their unique, special story. We also provide a packet of information to help guide you through the next steps of the process, so you know what to expect.
One part of that is a questionnaire that can guide you in writing the obituary, or that you can share with us and we’ll write one for you to approve. We are here to help shoulder the weight of planning and tending to details, so you can focus on what matters in this time of need.
From the moment you make the first call to our funeral director, to your loved one’s burial or cremation, we’ll be with you at every step to help send your loved one home with dignity and style.
